Judgement
by The Eezoman
Summary: I hated the ending to the series. This is my attempt to make sense of the plot. Hope you enjoy. Rated M because I like separating the punks from the pimps. Tali-LI
1. War Hero

_Hey everyone. Good to see you. I know it's been...a while... almost a year? Probably. I just want to let you know that I'm always here guys, always checking the site. Every day actually. It's the dedication as an author that I'm bad at._

_A lot of stuff to deal with, mainly school, and my attempt to romance some new girl (My last relationship didn't work out)._

_I'm loving the new stories on here, and I'm just as pissed off about the ending as you all are. Thankfully, Bioware said they'll do something about it. I'm hoping a nice little love scene between Shepard and Tali. If not, I'm sure I might be able to do something with Cole and her._

_Oh? You thought I was done with 23? No. He's still around in my head, and he's always there, every day. I haven't been working on him at all, but I'll start up again. It's your reviews that keep me going. I'm a critic-slut, what can I say. Anyways, hope you enjoy this little side story._

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><p>"Shepard."<p>

Turning to Anderson, the Commander responded with a nod.

"How long until we reach the beam?"

Anderson looked to the cockpit of the vehicle, where the pilot turned, motioning for five minutes. Turning back, Anderson let out a sigh.

"Not long. It's time to finish this."

Shepard merely turned to stare at the floor. Releasing a breath, the pain started to set in. The cuts and scrapes, along with the occasional gash were starting to wear. He was soaked in sweat, and his entire frame was wracked with an ungodly soreness.

And yet, all of that couldn't compare to the intense mental strain.

-_How many people had to die for this? To protect all of us from such pointless evil?_-

Before, on the Normandy, he had doubts. He had nightmares. Whispers playing around in his mind, causing him to curse the dark corners of his dreams. He could see their faces as they called his name.

-_And that boy. That damned child_-

It had started with him. Shepard couldn't close his eyes without seeing the flames engulf the child, his eyes staring deeply into the Commanders. The look of hopelessness, of despair. It spoke to the very fears buried deep in Shepard's heart.

-_Maybe we can't win this. How many species have tried and failed before us? We have a plan, but it's a hell of a long shot_-

Something woke him from his thoughts. A gloved hand was rested on his leg, causing him to raise his head.

His eyes reaching her, the pain and stress started to lift, if just slightly. Back on the Normandy, she had been there for him. Blocking the fear and worry with love, and passion. She reminded him of what they were truly fighting for.

"Hey."

Shepard smiled. Taking her hand, he intertwined their fingers, gently squeezing them reassuringly. She returned the small action with double the pressure. He could tell she was nervous, but holding herself together for this. They all were.

"I love you."

She took her hand, placing it gently on his face. Immediately, he wished they were still on the Normandy, hours away from the battle.

"I love you. Always."

The sound of a rocket impact shook the transport for a quick second, then faded.

She lowered her head, the realization of the moment hitting her. Her voice expressed the pain both her and Shepard were feeling.

"I just…I want more time."

Her voice nearly cracked as she spoke, tearing into the heart of Shepard, and everyone else within earshot. Garrus, who was well aware of their relationship, merely grimaced. Anderson sighed quietly.

"Tali. Trust me-"

"SHIT!"

The transport came to a dead stop, throwing the squad off balance. Tali fell forward, Shepard catching her.

"Pilot! What's going on?"

"We can't go any further. We'll need to go on foot!"

A small beeping noise diverted the pilot's attention. When the message came through, a look of horror came over his face.

"Sir! Several Reapers are headed here! They're going to try to stop us!"

Anderson was up before the pilot had finished. Opening the door, he grabbed a rifle from the seat.

"Let's move!"

Shepard turned to Tali, who was still in his arms.

This was it.

"Let's do this. Let's earn out time."

She couldn't hold it back. She couldn't charge into this, without saying it once more.

"I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you."

For a brief moment, the very idea that she could lose him arose. Her voice cracked as she spoke.

"I love you."

The Commander turned, facing the door.

"Let's go, my love. One last fight."

They stepped out of the transport, ready to end the war.

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><p><em>This isn't a one-shot. I plan on making this into a small little story. Sort of my way of dealing with the ending until the end. I have a great theory, and I'm looking forward to getting it out to you guys. See you in a bit!<em>

Ps. if anyone has any questions about my stories, plots, or plans, just send me a little PM. I always respond. Remember to review!


	2. Renagade

_Hey everyone! New chapter._

_I'd like to thank the ONE reviewer for his support. It keeps me going._

_I know what type of direction I'll be going in with this story, so I hope you enjoy, and don't stop reading until the end of canon. That's when it gets interesting. Bye!_

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><p>There was a hell.<p>

Hell wasn't a physical place. It didn't burn, or cut, or break.

It spoke. It held your eyes open, and forced you to watch everything you had ever done, burn to ash, then disappear, forgotten by everyone except for you.

Shepard could feel that place getting closer with every step. Every breath, short and ragged, was propelling him closer. Soldiers around him burnt, the Reapers preparing to send him to join his fallen brothers. He couldn't stop running though.

Nothing ran through his mind. Instead, he focused on that image. That one image that helped him move his legs, swing his arms.

He could feel Tali and Garrus behind him, running just as hard, just as fast. They were a team, a squad, a family. They would win.

Then, that horrid sound. The red light.

-_NO!_-

Everything flashed, and Shepard was gone.

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><p>His eyes shot open, and the first thing he felt was the pain.<p>

It hit him harder than a Krogan punch, and his skin felt as though he had walked through a volcano. Yet, that voice spoke to him.

-_Get up. Get the fuck up! C'mon, the beam_-

His eyes found the blue shaft of light, and his lungs drew a gasp of desperation. He found his footing, and started the slow limp towards the beam.

-_It's right there! Do it. Do it for them. For Garrus, for Hackett, for_-

He tripped over something.

Trying to get to his feet again, he saw it, and his blood stopped.

Her arm was burned, as well as her torso, and leg. Her mask was still on, thank god, but…

-_No. No no no. no no_-

She wasn't moving. Dragging himself over to her, he managed to get an arm around her head.

-_Not this. Anything but this. You could have taken me. You could have…Why her_-

"Tali…Tali can you hear me?"

He leaned her up, her silver eyes staring out from behind the cloudy mask.

"Tali? C'mon Tali. Don't do this. Don't scare me like this."

His lips hurt, his throat rasped, but he didn't feel anything. Just the quiet, building fear that gripped his spine.

"Please, c'mon. Say something. Don't just leave me here. Tali."

His voice started to get louder, the panic growing.

"Damn it, say something! Tell me about Rannoch! Insult Garrus, just please, do SOMETHING!"

Her eyes gazed upwards, following the beam directly upwards.

-_This can't be happening. This can't be real_-

"You wanted more time! We'll have it! I promise Tali, Just wake up! For the love of god, just wake up!"

He pulled her against his chest, cradling her burned, broken body.

"Please! Please God just give me time! I'll do whatever you want! Don't…"

The tears burned as they fell, his cheeks cut and bruised. His ragged voice fell to barely a whisper.

"Don't take her. Not her. Anyone but her. Please."

Despite the war, there was silence. Shepard felt it. It wore on him worse than chains. For the first time in his life, Shepard felt ready to die. Ready to give up on life. Until it spoke to him.

-_She's gone_-

"No…"

-_Yes. Stand up. Finish this_-

"What's the point? WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE LEFT?"

-_Humanity_-

Shepard felt his mind curse the very thought. He didn't care if the world burned. If Humanity burned. He was ready to set the fire himself.

That's when the voice surprised him.

-_Then do it_-

He barely spoke. Barely whispered.

"How."

-_The beam. Climb_-

Shepard stood, only glancing down at her body once more.

-_I'll do this. I'll do this for you. We can be together again_-

Finally, Shepard walked. Ready to embrace the beam. Ready to activate the Crucible.

Ready for revenge.


	3. Promises

_Alright, so this chapter is a bit strange. Regardless, I hope you like it._**  
><strong>

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><p><strong>+Shepard. Hurry+<strong>

Anderson's voice played through his ear as he approached the stairs. He barely heard it, as the only thought his mind could focus on was her.

Her.

His mind was conflicted. Part of him wanted to break down and sob. Another would have liked to end it all right there with the pistol.

He wanted to kill everyone. Anderson, Hackett, his crew. Every damn life-form in the galaxy would feel his wrath. The crucible was his instrument of death. He wouldn't do the Reaper's job. He would make his own agenda.

-_No. The Illusive Man was right. Take control. Use them, like those Alliance animals used you. Like they used her_-

His voice barely rose, and his clutched his head.

"No…No, I can't. I can't let them win. I don't want to save them. I want them to burn. All of them."

His apparent voice of reason spoke back to him.

-_You think that'll solve anything? Revenge. Real revenge comes from torture. Through pain. Take them. Use them. Burn a hole through the galaxy in her honor_-

That last thought sparked another realization.

"Oh, god…She's dead."

Dead? Dead. He couldn't think. Couldn't even breathe as the full reality came crashing down. He fell to his knees, screaming into the ground. He brought his burned fists down against the hard metal, the dull sound echoing quietly in the confined chamber. He cursed everything, and fell onto the ground. He laid there, hardly breathing, moving, or thinking as the tears slowly streamed from his eyes.

His mind played back a memory, any memory of her that it could find. The one it picked, was peculiar.

"_Shepard…"_

_He turned, seeing her slowly walk towards him, her naked form illuminated by the blue of the fish tank and the sheet she carried in front of herself. It was late, and he had snuck away to read a quick report at his terminal. Her gaze was breathtaking, as her hazel-blue rimmed eyes slowly rose to meet his. A small smile played on her lips, and she repeated herself._

"_Shepard…"_

_Oh god, it was music. He adored the way she said his name. The soft coo of a lover, with the quiet, unreserved passion she readily carried._

"_Yes, love?"_

_She lowered the sheet, and wrapped it around her shoulders. It did nothing to cover her body._

"_I'm cold."_

_Shepard smiled slightly, standing up to meet her. As he walked the short distance, he could see the blush on her face. It was cute._

"_Let me warm you up."_

_He wasn't wearing a shirt. Why would he? It was his cabin after all. Their bare chests connected, and he could feel that the cold had in fact affected her. She breathed in contentedly, moving in for a kiss. Their lips met, and they held each other, the sheet forgotten._

_She broke the kiss, opening her hazel eyes to meet his green. Cocking her head to the side, she gave a small giggle. Shepard felt his heart skip a beat. Leaning herself in closer, she wrapped a slender arm around his back, her three fingered hand softly brushing through his hair._

_She whispered into his ear._

"_I love you."_

_His eyes closed. Kissing her gently on the jawbone, he whispered back._

"_I love you too."_

_They held each other. The silence was bliss, until it was broken by Tali, her tone changing the mood._

"_Shepard, I…I had a nightmare."_

_He brought her closer, hoping to comfort her as best he could. She continued._

"_It was on earth. We lost Garrus, and…you were alone."_

_He didn't move, only hugging her a little tighter._

"_You…did things. Shepard, it was horrible. You weren't…they took you."_

_The silence built until she continued._

"_Shepard, I…never want to see you like that. Please, don't…don't…"_

_He pulled back, looking her in the eyes._

"_Tali. I won't change. Ever."_

_There was a tear sliding down her cheek. It was obvious the dream had gotten to her._

"_Promise me."_

_Shepard smiled._

"_You have my word."_

_She bit her lip, looking him dead in the eye._

"_No matter what happens to me."_

…_._

"_I…"_

"_Please, Shepard."_

"_Tali."_

"_I can't lose you."_

"_I can't lose you either. Tali. I-"_

"_Shepard. No matter what happens, no matter what they do, I'll be with you. I swear. I'll never leave you."_

…_._

"_Please, Shepard. Promise me."_

_He bit his lip, then closed the distance between them. Their lips danced with a passion that had only increased since the Collector base. Finally, they broke. Their eyes still closed, he spoke to her._

"_I promise you Tali'Zorah. I will never change. Not for anyone but you."_

_She smiled at him, and the kiss resumed, just as passionate. Finally, until neither one of them could breathe, they parted._

"_We should get back to bed.'_

_Tali raised her brow._

"_We don't go on shift for another seven hours."_

_Shepard reached down, and scooped the Quarian up into his arms. She gave a small squeek at the sudden move, but relaxed into his grip._

"_I didn't mean for sleeping, love."_

"_Oh, Shepard…"_

"_Shepard"_

_Shepard_

Shepard

"Shepard!"

The Commander raised his head, his eyes falling on Anderson.

"Shepard. Wonderful for you to join us."

The voice came from his side, as The Illusive Man strode out into Shepard's view.

"You!"

TIM merely raised his arms, indicating himself.

"Me."

Anderson hoped to fill Shepard in.

"I found you, and brought you up here, but the damned lunatic was waiting for us."

Shepard tried to go for his gun, but his muscles wouldn't respond.

"Well, Shepard. I'll give you credit. I didn't think you'd make it in time to witness the event."

The Commander's eyes started to adjust to the lights, which now showed the true extent of The Illusive Man's insanity.

The nanotech was visible in his flesh, the blue lights resembling Saren in his final moments. The man's eyes also spoke to the Turian's memory. Shepard gritted his teeth, the pain attempting to stop him from moving.

"What….Event?"

The Illusive man raised his arms again, motioning to the Citadel above them.

"Ascension. Today, we take control of what is rightfully ours. Today, we save humanity."

Looking back at Shepard, he casually pulled a pistol out, aiming it at his heart.

"Today, we rule the galaxy."

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><p><em>Anyone who knows me acknowledges my love of cliff-hangers. See you guys next time!<em>


	4. Insanity

_So I got the new chapter up. FINALLY. Anyways, hope you enjoy. For those who didn't see, I DID post a few chapters of Cryonics a long while back. Go check it out for some awesome stuff. No, really. Go check it out._

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><p>Shepard fought the invisible force surrounding his body. The pain was intense, yet he couldn't give up. Gritting his teeth, he pulled his arm around, desperate to raise his gun.<p>

"Don't strain yourself Shepard. We both knew this was how it was going to be."

Shepard's voice slowly increased in volume, displaying his obvious anger.

"You fool. Don't you understand? You can't control them! You're their puppet. They'll own you like they did Saren."

"No! I am still in control! I'll make them pay! I'll make them all pay!"

The Illusive Man's face was contorted in rage, his horrifying face glowing brighter from the cybernetics.

"Listen… to yourself! You're….indoctrinated!"

Anderson tried to turn his torso, his voice stressing the effort. TIM faced the Admiral, directing his anger to him. Shepard watched the barrel of the gun, the cold cylinder still aimed at his head.

"They can't control me! I've broken their code. Humanity has surpassed the Reapers. We don't need to fear them any longer."

Shepard tried to move, tried to reach his gun, but the energy was too strong. He pleaded with the Illusive Man.

"We can't control them. They're too powerful, too advanced. They've tricked you."

TIM turned, the anger on his face once more.

"Why can't you see? Why don't you understand? We can rule this galaxy. I can control them."

Shepard felt something manipulate his arm. Reaching downwards, he grasped the handle of his gun, bringing to bear.

-_No. Damn it, no!_-

He knew he was aiming at Anderson.

"You'd send us back into the dark ages, Shepard! You and the Alliance. With the Reapers we can protect humanity from any alien threat. We can perfect our very existence!"

Shepard heard the gunshot. Saw the impact. The blood sprayed onto the ground, and the sound of Anderson's pain was heard. He cursed himself.

"I see what they did to you. Is that _perfection?_" Shepard's tone held only anger. Cold, regretful anger.

"Don't try to talk down to me, Shepard. I've sacrificed more than you know. I brought you back. You owe me your _life!_"

Anderson cut in, the marine's voice sounding tired and weak.

"You knew you could stop Shepard if you had to. The Reapers…we can't be sure. We can't risk it."

Shepard added to the Admirals thought.

"You've sacrificed too much. At what cost?"

The Illusive Man growled angrily at the continued resistance. He paced his way behind Anderson, raising the gun to the soldier's head.

"Damn you! You don't know…you…you'd undo everything I've accomplished. I won't let that happen."

Shepard felt the anger seep back into his voice.

"You're nothing but the Reapers plaything now."

Shepard could feel the resistance give. His fingers moved, acted. He could start to move again.

The Illusive Man's face turned, the rage returning. He looked far more different than before. Shepard had seen that look in only one other man.

"No! You are wrong! I'll send you both to hell myse-"

The gunshot cut off his words, and for a brief moment, he looked confused. Shepard let out his breath, the shot taken.

He fell wordlessly, the blue cybernetics fizzling and dying before Shepard's eyes. It was a melancholy sight.

The movement returned in Shepard's body. Carefully he walked forward, the limp in his leg still present. He slammed the control panel, the open command activated.

The earth glowed brightly from their viewpoint, lighting up the nightmarish realm. Shepard could only stare in awe, and grim determination. He heard the Illusive Man start to speak.

"There… Perfect. I wish you could have seen her like I-"

The bullet ended TIM's monologue. Shepard lowered the smoking gun, his rage still visible. He turned, finding Anderson leaning on the platform. The old soldier looked up at him, the tiredness visible in his eyes.

"We did it, Shepard."

He coughed violently. He didn't have much longer and they both knew it.

Shepard slowly raised his gun, aiming at Anderson's head.

-_No one left to stop me_-

Anderson's eyes widened, the pain and confusion obvious in his gaze. Shepard felt a chill run down his blood soaked back.

The gun shook slightly.

"Shepard, what are you doing?"

He steadied his hand. –_There we go_-

"Shepard, you're making a mistake! She wouldn't-"

The shot was loud.

The blood splattered against the ground. Small pieces of skull and brain slowly leaked from the hole in Anderson's head. Shepard focused on them with unnerving focus.

-_The console. There has to be something there_-

He couldn't do it though. Turning, he slipped in Anderson's blood, falling onto the platform. His legs wouldn't work.

Crawling, he fought desperately to get to the panel. He felt sluggish. Soon, he could barely move. An animalistic rage took hold, and he screamed loud and violently. He sounded like a monster.

-_So close. So close…so close…_-

The platform beneath him rose. He could feel some strength return. He could hear something.

-_Shepard-_

His lungs breathed in at the sound. He could hear her.

"No…It can't be."

-_Shepard…_-

He raised his head. Shrugging off the tired, ignoring the pain, he stood. His voice was shaky and quiet.

"Tali?"

The light around him diffused, revealing….

His mind couldn't comprehend it. The child…the three paths.

Listening to the star child, Shepard said nothing. He couldn't hear it. All he thought of was Tali.

-_I'll destroy Sword fleet. Maybe Ilium next _-

"…Control. You'll decide the fate of the Reapers."

At those words, Shepard looked up, his eyes locked onto the area pointed out to him. The blue light was warm, inviting. He knew it was what he wanted.

He moved his legs, slowly, painfully. Yet, with every step, the pain started to melt away. Shepard started to move quicker, the relaxing hue of the left drawing him in.

-_I'll kill them all. Everything will end. Perfectly_-

He tripped, the overexcitement making him unbalanced. Bouncing back onto his feet, he tried to gain speed.

He felt the rage in his head. The hatred. It cooled inside of him, creating a blissful note.

-_She wanted this. We all did. I'll be with her soon_-

He approached the divide. Shepard felt the smile start to creep onto his face.

-_All I had to do was kill them. Remove those shortsighted fools. Tali will-_

He heard it again.

-_Shepard_-

He paused once more, not moving an inch. It sounded just like her. He tried to get a response.

"Tali? Tali are you there?"

Her voice came back, the soft, sweet voice soothing his mind.

-_Shepard, hold on_-

Hold on? He was so close. This entire war was almost over. Shepard took another step towards the blue light. He almost screamed when he felt it.

_A hand_

Not just any hand, a three fingered hand. The kind of hand that stroked his face lovingly. The kind that fit into his perfectly. The kind that gripped him desperately in the late hours.

Her hand.

He felt it rest against his cheek, the warm pressure relieving some underlying pain. When it vanished, he wanted to cry out in desperation.

"Tali! Please, no…Don't leave me."

-_I'm here, Shepard. I'm not leaving. Remember our promise? I'm never leaving. Fight it, Shepard. Come back to me_-

He would. He started towards the blue console again, determined to get there as soon as possible. That's when he heard her heartbroken voice.

-_No, no no…Don't leave me, Shepard. Don't let them win. You promised Shepard. You promised you wouldn't change_-

"I haven't! I'm going to end this, Tali!"

He started to panic until the voice in his head calmed him.

-_Ignore her. They're just trying to indoctrinate you. She's not real. She's dead, remember? They killed her_-

The tone of the voice was more threatening than last he heard it. It didn't matter to him. Shepard took another few steps, the blue light warming him. He heard Tali's voice pleading him to not let them win. Something was wrong, and he was starting to react to it.

"This isn't right." He muttered. Shepard swore he was hearing Tali's voice.

-_Leave her! She's dead! don't let them distract you, Shepard! Kill them all!_-

His feet started to move on his own, letting Shepard stand there and think. He was becoming stronger. His wounds healed before his eyes as he walked slowly. The cuts and scars were fading, replaced by a comforting blue. Finally, he was starting to believe the voice.

That's when he felt her lips on his.

They were warm and wet, the familiar sweet taste riddled with what felt like tears. The voices startled him.

-_Tali! Get away from him! It's not Shepard!-_

_-He's not gone yet! Shepard, please. You can fight them. Come back to me, Shepard. Come home-_

_-Step away from the husk and get your mask on! It's starting to move!-_

_-You promised me, Shepard. You promised you wouldn't change. If you do, then kill me. I can't live without you-_

_-Tali, watch out!-_

_-I love you Shepard. Keelah'Se'lai-_

"NO!"

He jolted his legs, pulling back from the blue light.

-_What are you DOING? Avenge her! KILL THEM!_-

He didn't respond. All he knew was he needed to get as far away from the light as possible. He needed to destroy the Reapers.

Shepard turned, trying to move against the invisible force drawing him towards the blue light. He pushed hard, ignoring the reopening wounds and exhaustion.

-_You're killing her, Shepard. Would you like to see? Your resistance is spilling her blood_-

He saw flashes of it. Her face, drawn in fear. She had dropped her weapon. He bore down on her, tearing her chest with a sharpened claw.

Shepard laughed.

"Tali doesn't drop her weapon, you bastard."

He pushed harder, the voice grew dimmer in his mind.

"She holds herself together, and sends whatever's attacking her straight to hell."

It felt like he was pushing through liquid glass.

"She doesn't give up, no matter the odds."

He raised his gun, the reaper tendrils in his mind screaming at him.

"She isn't some normal soldier or companion."

He gritted his teeth, pointing the shaking gun at the red vein. It felt like electricity was shooting through his body.

"She isn't the kind of girl you break a promise to."

Shepard fired the first shot. He felt it pierce his side as the glass broke.

-_That's how it's going to be, huh? I love you Tali. Plant a tree on Rannoch for me_-

"Go to hell you bastards."

He fired again and again, the glass case shattering, causing an explosion of fire and machinery. It enveloped him, the pain indescribable.

-_Shepard!_-

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><p><em>What's going to happen next? What happened to Tali? Shepard? Are the Reapers defeated? <em>

_TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR:_

_Dancing Elcors!_

_Turian Pick-up lines!_

_Sexy Volus, and many more things! (That shouldn't happen)_

_I dunno. Maybe I'll update Ass Effect. Give me your input and reviews. Bye!_


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